Thursday, 19 February 2015

Fluoxetine and Me.

*Please be aware these are MY views and experiences and not everyone will have the same*

- The beginning 
I was prescribed fluoxetine (Prozac) by my GP in 2011, it took me a year to pluck up the coverage to make an appointment. Something I strongly regret now. In 2011 I went to the doctors at my lowest point, I realised afterwards that I should have gone long before I hit rock bottom. After explaining my feeling of hopelessness and the constant black cloud that was impossible to shake, which had begun to occur more days than most, the doctor was very understanding and sympathetic, this totally shocked me, as I didn’t understand it all and I was having difficulty in explaining it, yet there was someone who actually understood!?

I felt reassured after my visit to the doctor, it was in fact a common feeling and treatable and no longer had to be life consuming! Wow I thought, I should have done this a long time ago!! I was then prescribed fluoxetine 20mg, the lowest dose.

The Dr did warn me of the initial side effects and the possibility of feeling sick and generally off balance, but this didn't prepare me for the 2 weeks of being knocked completely sideways!! I felt sick all of them time, I was advised to take it at night so I wouldn’t feel the side effects as much, but this didn't make any difference, I was off food all day and constantly felt sick. I also felt like I was on a different planet most of the time and found it hard to concentrate on anything.

It did eventually all calm down and I started to feel a bit brighter, the hopelessness feeling lowered and I could get on with my day to day life again.

- The outcome
I still get down days, like everyone, but no where near in comparison with before and there not as regular or consuming. However there is a consequence to this, I'm pretty much an emotionless human being. I’ve never been a real emotional person anyway, I don't cry at films or sick puppies etc, but this has intensified by a thousand.
I don't feel sad but I don't feel particularly happy either a lot of the time, I don't really feel anything at all (I think the people closest to me find this more difficult then I do).

I was highly strung and my feelings were always very intense. But I'm allot calmer now, I deal with things differently and I don't let things get to me like they used to.

The things they don’t tell you about taking fluoxetine:
- Its is addictive and its hard withdrawing from it, even slowly.
- You're pretty much emotionless
- Lack of sex drive
- Insomnia

- Pregnancy and Fluoxetine  
They advise you to come off, slowly, when you’re pregnant, if you can. Obviously with the baby’s best intentions in mind. I found this extremely difficult as not only was I hormonal but I was suddenly feeling all the feelings that fluoxetine covered up. To put it mildly I was a walking time bomb and an emotional mess throughout my pregnancy, I could not wait to start taking it again and then feel like myself again. I don't know if the hard time I experienced after birth was due to not being on fluoxetine or normal, 'just had a baby' feelings.

Obviously I'm fully aware there are people out there who need this drug and depend on it, it can been life changing and for some, the feeling of emotionless is better then the alterative, I'm just not sure if I'm one of those people.

- The future
I don't intend to take fluoxetine forever, I hope I can eventually find a happy balance between being far too emotional or completely emotionless. I have a long family history of mental health issues and I accept that I could of inherited the lack of chemicals in my brain but I would like to not have to rely on drugs to function normally, eventually. 

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  1. I am sorry that you are having negatives - have you spoken to your GP to see if they can help in other ways such as different medication, counselling or Cognitive Behaviour Therapy? I am on these pills since late last year after 10 years of depression and I am finding it a very positive experience. I am seeing the fun side of life and me for the first time in ages and it is nice not to have to put the brave face on anymore. I do hope you find the right answer for you.

  2. Thank you for your comment, I'm pleased you’re having a positive experience, this proves my point that no two people have the same experience and what works for some doesn't for others. I think you're right it’s about finding the right answer and what works for you and your personality x

  3. I sorry that you were having a hard time and I hope that things is a bit better now. Every person is different and everyone has different reactions to medication. Sending you positive thoughts. #MummyMondayLinky

  4. Thank you for taking the time to read my post and leave a comment :)

  5. Sorry you were having a bit of a rubbish time and couldn't find what was right to make it better. Hoping that things are on the up for you now and your feeling a bit better! Medication is funny as it just reacts to different people in such different ways. Thankyou so much for linking up and hope to see you again tomorrow! Sorry I'm late this week has been crazy. Thanks again! #MummyMonday xx

  6. So sorry it's been a tough time for you hunny. I am glad you have found something that balances it out for you until you figure it all out to do without it. It's ok to have help and support for it and it's great you are talking openly about it too so others can relate or be inspired by your positive progress too. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme