Friday, 27 February 2015

February Favourites


My first ever favourites post......

I know this is a pretty standard post to do and I'm sure most bloggers do it, but I love reading them so I thought I would join in, it gives me a chance to reflect on my month.

- First of all has to be my local Co-op's Free-From range, they stock quite an extensive range (which I never knew) it made my life a little easier when we were told to try a wheat-free diet alongside my sons dairy-free one....nightmare! (luckily we don't have to do it anymore)! so thank you the Co-op!

- This will probably feature in most of my favourites because I am obsessed, - Liz Earl, Cleanse and polish. I literally love this stuff, not so much the price but it is worth the money. I look forward to taking my make up off and feeling refreshed at the end of the day and best of all its so easy and effortless.

- Eastenders, I cant not mention it as its been a big part of my life this month, this is probably a sad statement to make but it is true. There has been rather allot going on lately, I think even though they dragged 'Lucy's murder' storyline out it was done really well. I never suspected Bobby Beale till right at the end. However bringing Kathy back from the dead is utterly ridiculous. I think they need to rain it in a bit.

- The book of you by Claire Kendal, I haven't got to the end yet (I blame blogging, its taken over my life) but its very gripping and intense. I like that there isn't loads of characters to follow and the story is easy to follow, and pick up and put down.  I cant really give it a rating as I haven't finished it  yet but I will let you know.

- Cant really not mention my birthday as it was my fav day! I was spoilt with Pandora, champagne and lasagne :) what more could a girl want. However I wasn't a fan of my car being decorated with 30 banners , especially when I was  already running late for the school run!! My babies gave me a lie in, and I woke up without my baby boy in my bed for the first time in ages, bonus!! My fav presents were my Breville smoothie maker from my babies (which I will review at some point) and my lush Pandora ring from my partner.

- Collection Extreme 24 hour felt tip pen £2.99 from boots, so easy to apply and long lasting and best of all so cheap!! I use this every day and I would be lost without it. I will be repurchasing for sure!!

- Ed Sheeran X, this album is the only thing I've had on all month, I love that it suits any mood and is easy listening (usually over screaming kids in the car). I'm in a bit of a music lull at the mo, I don't really have any favourites and I haven't a clue what's good or popular.

My favourite thing about February has got to be the fact its a short month so pay day comes around quicker...Yippe! :)

- My internet favourites
Blogs -
She is just an ordinary working mum who tells it like it is. she was the first blogger I followed.

- Potty Mouthed Mummy -
The newbie class blogs have been great for me as a newbie, really informative and easy to follow.

- Hannah Gale
This is my top blogger of 2015 so far, I read all her blogs and she is one blogger I do follow on a daily basis. She is very witty and its such a good read, I recommend her to everyone. I found her posts on depression and anxiety very relatable too.

YouTubers -
Hannah Maggs, who I watch every Sunday night religiously, usually with a glass of wine and a candle. Her little boy was born around the same time as mine and its funny to watch them develop together, I also feel her pain allot of the time with the daily struggles of having a baby!!

Zoelle, I always find her so addictive to watch. I think she is a great role model for young girls.

YouTube Music -
-Hobbie twitter - @HobbieStuart amazing voice! he does allot of covers, old and new and put his own twist on them
my fav is  - Ed Sheerand - Sing / Disclosure - Latch (Acoustic cover)

And a few Feb Fail's (which seem to be all food related!)
- Pancake day, I totally forgot all about it and I came to the conclusion it was too difficult to bother with, with the whole dairy free and wheat free nightmare we were going through. So no tossing took place this year.

- Valentines Day, we were both far too sleep deprived to actually think about each other, we did buy gifts (with a £5 limit) but it was all done a bit half heartedly. I love him every day though, not just on valentines day, so its all ok. (soppy shit)

- Lent, I managed to give up chocolate for lent for a whole 3 days!!!! Which is pretty good for me but then I accidentally (honestly), forgot and my partner caught me eating a chocolate biscuit.
Well realistically I was never going to last 40 days anyway!

That's it for this month, thanks all for reading and please share with others if you liked x

Thursday, 26 February 2015

30 of my life lessons, before I turn 30 (tomorrow)

1) Always eat carbs before a night out 
2) Don't text or use social media when drunk (if you have to squint with one eye to read the screen then your drunk, step away from the phone)
3) Don't take or send any photos you wouldn't want your parents to see, or your boss! 
4) Don't look through your partners phone / facebook -if you feel the need to then he probably has got something to hide. However it's perfectly acceptable to stalk his social media. 
5) Don't go shopping when your hungry 
6) Listen to your instincts 
7) Social media is a fabrication of people's life's, the best bits, what people want you to see.  
8) Don't use social media as a therapist, self pity isn't attractive. 
9) Onesies are the most comfiest things ever, no matter how stupid you look. But don't go to the shops in it. 
10) One night stands are frowned upon in your late 20's 
11) Feeling too old to relate to Geordie Shore is normal when you're over 25
12) Never go to bed without taking your make-up off
13) Don't make decisions when your angry or crazy tired, sleep on it. 
14) The grass is greener if you water it.
15) Everyone is flawed 
16) Don't double text a boy...ever!
17) Live within your means and your over draft
18) Jeremy Kyle will always make you feel better about your life.
19) Sometimes there's nothing like wallowing in your own misery, it's therapeutic everyone loves a good wallow.
20) Smoking isn't cool and it's actually really hard to quit! Take it from me after smoking for 10yrs and now a quitter for 3, its not worth it. 
21) Don't apply fake tan on shaving day, no matter how much you want that tan! no tan is better then a shit tan.
22) Fairy tales don't exist, if you lose your shoe at midnight - your drunk!
23) If you get enjoyment out of putting people down then your a twat
24) Primark do the best sandals!
25) Burger king is the best hangover cure ever invented.
26) No one likes a know it all, act dull its more sociably acceptable.
27) Be with someone who makes you crazy, but not in a psycho way
28) Smile it pisses people off.
29) Pick your battles wisely.
30) Turning 30 isn't actually the end of the world.

Mums' Days
Brilliant blog posts on


This whole car sharing thing isn't going to work out!


Monday, 23 February 2015

Working days, children…….and me.

Ok, I’m pretty sure anyone reading this will think that my day is a normal working mum’s day and is nothing out of the ordinary. However, I don’t feel normal or particularly ordinary, I feel like I’m on a constant merry go round, getting dizzier. So in my attempt to feel sane I'm blogging about it.

After approximately 4 hours of sleep (max) and getting up 9,000,000 times, to replace a dummy or to comfort a sobbing little man who doesn’t like sleep or his cot, my alarm goes off and scares the hell out of me, as surely it can’t actually be morning already, can It?! (yes that really is my first thought of every day) I drag myself an the boy out of my bed (which he isn’t supposed to be in, but after the 9,000,00 time I gave up, bad me!), I then have to wake and coax my 5 year old daughter out of her bed, which she loves, along with her sleep, (yes, I really do have one of each kind). We then all unenthusiastically go down stairs, where my daughter will watch TV still half asleep, while my son pulls out every toy from the toy box, creating his own obstacle course. Ahhh morning bliss...!

It used to be my favourite meal of the day, but now it’s a mad rush to scoff anything down one handed, whilst feeding the baby, making bottles and sorting washing out. Neither of the children are particularly interested in breakfast so this takes allot longer than it needs to and usually involves allot of nagging and reminding them to actually eat and not play with their food (or throw is across the room, where the little man is concerned)!

Getting ready
The little man is first, I have to catch him before he makes a run for it, restrain him as he likes to roll on to his front in an attempt to escape, dress him quickly without ever letting go of a hand or a foot, so he cant get away, whilst trying to distract him with Mr Tumbles, which can usually only just be heard over the screeches and shouting (from him not me) then he can be set him free, I can only pray that he doesn’t come into contact with anything too dirty (or un-wipable) between now and going out the door.

I then have to bribe my 5 year old to get dressed, with marbles (reward chart type thing) then I'll resort to threatening and the cancellation of any activities in the foreseeable future and when that fails and she's still trying to put on her vest half an hour later, I then give in and do it myself!!!

By now I only have half an hour left to get myself ready and all 3 of us out of the door and to 3 different places, on time!  I have the quickest record breaking shower, whilst the baby trashes his cot and the 5 year old throws toys at him for him to throw across his room, they’re going for the bombs hit it, look. I then consider make-up and hair in attempt to look at least half human for a day at the office. After 20 seconds I end up saying something like, fuck it there’s no time, I can’t be bothered or no amount of make-up will fix this tired face anyway and resort to tying my hair up and slapping on some foundation and mascara. 
One then brushes his teeth without any resistance as he thinks it’s the best thing ever and the other argues that she doesn’t need to brush hers as her teeth are white enough, and obviously she knows best! 

Out the door
Stepping over the toys and walking past the chaos that breakfast caused we head out the door with 4 bags, 3 coats and 2 children in tow, who are relatively happy and clean. Job Done.

Drop offs
Whilst listening to one bloody direction (again), we drive to the school, my daughter who is still slightly reluctant to leave me gives me a kiss and a squeeze and strolls off. Then onto nursery, where as soon as we get through the door, he bolts off in the direction of the toys, without even a kiss.

Then I breathe deeply and relax and go to work. I feel no guilt about this at all.  

Here’s the thing, the two+ hours of total chaos in the morning is worth the few hours of child free bliss I get by going to work. It’s essential for me, to use my brain, to feel like an actual human being and mix with other big people. I need this time in order to re-charge my batteries.

Throughout the day I do give them a thought like, how many toys has the son trashed and how many arguments has my daughter had (because she is going through the 'always right' stage) I also think about the amazing cuddles and beaming faces I'll get when I collect them, as they will be as excited to see me as I will to see them. Absence does make the heart grow fonder.

Oh and how could I forget to mention, my partner, who gets to sneak out of the house before anyone else is awake, therefore missing all the chaos and only has himself to get ready and to get to work! lucky him, right?!
Then he returns again right before bed time to get sleepy cuddles. Men have it so easy, don't they?

Linking up to:

The Twinkle Diaries

Thursday, 19 February 2015

Fluoxetine and Me.

*Please be aware these are MY views and experiences and not everyone will have the same*

- The beginning 
I was prescribed fluoxetine (Prozac) by my GP in 2011, it took me a year to pluck up the coverage to make an appointment. Something I strongly regret now. In 2011 I went to the doctors at my lowest point, I realised afterwards that I should have gone long before I hit rock bottom. After explaining my feeling of hopelessness and the constant black cloud that was impossible to shake, which had begun to occur more days than most, the doctor was very understanding and sympathetic, this totally shocked me, as I didn’t understand it all and I was having difficulty in explaining it, yet there was someone who actually understood!?

I felt reassured after my visit to the doctor, it was in fact a common feeling and treatable and no longer had to be life consuming! Wow I thought, I should have done this a long time ago!! I was then prescribed fluoxetine 20mg, the lowest dose.

The Dr did warn me of the initial side effects and the possibility of feeling sick and generally off balance, but this didn't prepare me for the 2 weeks of being knocked completely sideways!! I felt sick all of them time, I was advised to take it at night so I wouldn’t feel the side effects as much, but this didn't make any difference, I was off food all day and constantly felt sick. I also felt like I was on a different planet most of the time and found it hard to concentrate on anything.

It did eventually all calm down and I started to feel a bit brighter, the hopelessness feeling lowered and I could get on with my day to day life again.

- The outcome
I still get down days, like everyone, but no where near in comparison with before and there not as regular or consuming. However there is a consequence to this, I'm pretty much an emotionless human being. I’ve never been a real emotional person anyway, I don't cry at films or sick puppies etc, but this has intensified by a thousand.
I don't feel sad but I don't feel particularly happy either a lot of the time, I don't really feel anything at all (I think the people closest to me find this more difficult then I do).

I was highly strung and my feelings were always very intense. But I'm allot calmer now, I deal with things differently and I don't let things get to me like they used to.

The things they don’t tell you about taking fluoxetine:
- Its is addictive and its hard withdrawing from it, even slowly.
- You're pretty much emotionless
- Lack of sex drive
- Insomnia

- Pregnancy and Fluoxetine  
They advise you to come off, slowly, when you’re pregnant, if you can. Obviously with the baby’s best intentions in mind. I found this extremely difficult as not only was I hormonal but I was suddenly feeling all the feelings that fluoxetine covered up. To put it mildly I was a walking time bomb and an emotional mess throughout my pregnancy, I could not wait to start taking it again and then feel like myself again. I don't know if the hard time I experienced after birth was due to not being on fluoxetine or normal, 'just had a baby' feelings.

Obviously I'm fully aware there are people out there who need this drug and depend on it, it can been life changing and for some, the feeling of emotionless is better then the alterative, I'm just not sure if I'm one of those people.

- The future
I don't intend to take fluoxetine forever, I hope I can eventually find a happy balance between being far too emotional or completely emotionless. I have a long family history of mental health issues and I accept that I could of inherited the lack of chemicals in my brain but I would like to not have to rely on drugs to function normally, eventually. 

For more information 

Linked up with 

Let's Talk Mommy

Wednesday, 18 February 2015

This is what they don't tell you....

This is what happens when one of us inconsiderate grown-ups has to go for a shower in our house, Melt down!! This is separation anxiety at it's worse!!

This is what they don't tell you before you have a'll never have a shower longer then 2 minutes again or pee in peace or anything else for that matter which doesn't involve your baby being stuck to your hip.

Friday, 13 February 2015

Mean girls & J K Rowling

I was walking home from school with my five year old daughter, in front of us was a couple of slightly older girls, not good at the guessing of age thing, but they were old enough to be walking home on their own but young enough to still be in primary school - kind of age, who were discussing a party. The first girl said to the second girl, “is Josie coming on Sunday” (name change) the first girl laughed, and quite sharply said “no, she’s fat!” the second girl nodded in agreement and the conversation carried on relating to the party. This small significant sentence hung around my head for the rest of the day. Not that it’s important but the girl they are referring to, is in no way fat by any means! That’s not my mum’s head opinion, she actually isn’t fat!!

But even if she was, it wouldn’t make me less shocked by the girls comment, it was said as if it was a perfectly normal judgment to make and as if the invitees were specifically chosen by their size, or more importantly, I’m guessing, their popularity.

My influential daughter heard every word of this and it infuriated me. I decided after allot of dwelling, to sit her down and talk about it and to explain empathy, at five years of age I can only hope that some of what I said went in and stays in.

The reason I’m telling you this, is because I then came across something significant online, totally by accident, by a very talented and respected lady, which I want to share with you, it’s brilliant and inspirational. As mothers to influential daughters, it’s our duty to be good role models…….

 “Fat’ is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl when she wants to hurt her.

I mean, is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me; but then, you might retort, what do I know about the pressure to be skinny? I’m not in the business of being judged on my looks, what with being a writer and earning my living by using my brain…

I went to the British Book Awards that evening. After the award ceremony I bumped into a woman I hadn’t seen for nearly three years. The first thing she said to me? ‘You’ve lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you!’

‘Well,’ I said, slightly nonplussed, ‘the last time you saw me I’d just had a baby.’

What I felt like saying was, ‘I’ve produced my third child and my sixth novel since I last saw you. Aren’t either of those things more important, more interesting, than my size?’ But no – my waist looked smaller! Forget the kid and the book: finally, something to celebrate!

I’ve got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don’t want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before ‘thin’. And frankly, I’d rather they didn’t give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons.”

J.K. Rowling

Thursday, 12 February 2015

School discos 2015 style.

One and a half hours seemed like 4 long agonising hours but the fact I was actually out of the house and in a public place, with other equally unhappy adults was a bonus!

This is what parenting is all about, being squashed on a school bench at the back of a hot, dark and very loud school hall, surrounded by hyperactive small people and listening to cheesy pop music.

This is my new ‘social life’ and I have to come to terms with the loss of my old one and…‘Let it go’

** Checklist for any school discos **

Who not only plays music but interacts with the children too, so a DJ/Kids entertainer. He is responsible for controlling all the children, whilst being able to dance and sing along to all the songs! He must be on big bucks to do that job!

Girl’s on one half of the room and boys the other– CHECK
In a dance / sing along type battle.  Girl’s v Boys battles never end well, in my experience!

Frozen craziness – CHECK
The world has gone Frozen crazy, and so has the school disco’s!
My daughter is no exception she went in the Elsa dress, the hair in a side plait, the jewellery and of course the glittering eyes! Identical to all the other girls in the school. Followed by all the Frozen songs, sung word for word by all the children whilst doing the big dramatic arm movements……Oh dearie me!

Smoothies - CHECK
Cartons of juice have been replaced with healthy alternatives, obviously at twice the price! No sugar and no fun, not at all party like.

Tears – CHECK
There is always tears, this can range from anything small, like not liking the song to a major incident like being too hot (perhaps as a result of the smoothies not hydrating them enough).  

Boys sliding across the school hall – CHECK
I can’t figure out why they do this, but I think perhaps it’s a male ego thing and an alternative to dancing.  

Miserable teachers – CHECK
Who are as equally unhappier about having to be there as us parents, but have to at least pretend to be enjoying it. They have to be on constant alert to stop any boys sliding and prevent all possible injuries from occurring due to the strict health and safety legislations. I do feel for the teachers who have spent a whole 10 hours with the children, they must too need the sugar too that has now been replaced by the healthy smoothies!! However, I think I would need vodka, not sugar to do their job.

Tired and irritable children - CHECK
It’s late and after all the antics it’s now time to take you’re over excited, sweaty and worn out child home and in return they will give you major tantrums before bed….Oh the joys!!

I can’t control my excitement for the next school disco…….!!

linked up to:
The Little Life of Ickle Pickle
Modern Dad Pages
Sunshine Dad Blog

Friday, 6 February 2015

Why the 6 nation’s rugby isn’t one of my priorities....

Its the big day, The start of the almighty 6 nations.
Its all kicking off tonight with the big match, when the English go head to head against the Welsh!

My first confession, I've never been a huge rugby fan (unlike some of my Facebook followers, who have been counting down the sleeps). However, I've always kind of looked forward to the start of the 6 nations, mainly because I live in Wales, and the Welsh don't do anything by halves! Its a big occasion in the Welsh calendar and the excitement is contagious. The pubs are a live during the 6 nations with very excited and loud (and usually larger holding) Welsh people (and some who aren't actually Welsh but keep quite, well unless the English win of course)

Second confession, I'm not actually Welsh. I was moved here by my very English parents when I was 3. So I wasn't born in Wales and my parents aren't Welsh either. (I'm just clarifying this point for argument sake as some people claim to be Welsh in any small significant way they can) I am not, and this doesn't make any difference to me.

Third confession, I don't actually care who wins, it makes absolutely no difference to my life either way! It doesn't make me less English or less happy to live in Wales, I don't celebrate harder if 'my team' wins or drink more or shout louder at the television if 'my team' loses (I don't have a 'team'!) I tend to just enjoy all the hype and the atmosphere of the game. 

Fourth confession, now I have two children and less then 5 hours sleep a night (on a good night), I have no aspirations to go anywhere near a pub or to drink pints or to listen to the whaling of the national anthem (sang badly and out of tune). This isn't a good night out for me anymore, just the thought of a hangover makes me want to shudder and is enough to put me off drinking for the time being as my 1 year old would be less then sympathetic.  

Tonight I'll be at home, in my onezie with a glass of wine, not cheering anyone and not really understanding the rules or what's going on (probably fast asleep by half time).

I hope both teams do well and I hope everyone enjoys the big hype of the match and of course the blinding hangovers tomorrow.....!!