Thursday, 29 January 2015

My little terror turns 1!

It has been 365 long ole days and nights since my little man entered the world, the day before my planned c-section. Nothing could of prepared us for life with a little man, he turned our world upside down, literally!

The transaction between baby to toddler is a difficult one for us mums. The only way I can explain it is, its like being in mourning. I am mourning the loss of the baby stage, where he would just lie happily in my arms for hours, and not pull my hair, fight and wriggle for freedom or use me as a climbing frame.

Its a boy thing.....
* He attracts dirt constantly and no matter how many times I clean his face he still looks grubby, still I would never say no to a big sloppy kiss.
* Going round things isn't an option, throwing yourself over things and clabbering over things is much more fun.
* Breaking things and smashing things up is what they like to do.
* He insists on being attached to my leg/hip, 24/7!
* Getting dressed entails a massive fight and struggle
Despite all this, sleepy cuddles, sharing of soggy toast and beaming smiles when you enter the room are the best things ever.

My little man is by far the cutest baby in the whole world, obviously! no really he truly is, he fools everyone with his massive blue eyes and bright blonde hair, my son is a very cute little devil in disguise! He was blessed with the ability to make you forget all the sleepless nights, the endless screaming and the destruction of everything in sight with just one smile!

I am extremely blessed.

Roll on the years still to come of struggle, stress and sleepless nights as he is worth all of it. 
I love my blue eyed little terror.

Tuesday, 20 January 2015

'The child that doesn't sleep'

have refrained from writting this post for as long as possible but I'm affraid it's inevitable! I'll try not to write too many repetitive post about my sleep deprivation (even though it takes over my life and my twitter!) I have began to bore myself with complaining about my continious tiredness and inability to function, so I'll try my very hardest not to bore you too much! 

Straight to the point, my child does not sleep ever!!!! 
He is 1 next week (1 OMG!) and has only slept a max of 2 undisturbed nights :( now can you see my problem?! 

when everyone said "as soon as he starts solids he will sleep"- he didn't! When they then said "you wait, once he starts moving he will ware himself out" - he didn't! Nursery will surely make him sleep, well it did -one night! But that was it. Now he has started to walk, and it's worse then ever, he is up anything between 6-10,0000 times a night!! Ok, slight exaggeration, but it feels like it.

I've tried everything and anything to make the boy sleep (apart from leaving him to cry it out, as I have my reservations about that subject, but that's a whole another post), I've read every sleep training book available and internet post, I've  taken him to the doctors and pleded for help, I've tried up'ing his milk intake to see if it was hunger waking him but it wasn't! Ive tried night lights, sleeping bags, strict night time routines, lavander bath and the list goes on and on...! 
He just doesn't like to sleep and that's it. 

But this can't be it, can it?! 
Some days I literally cannot function at all, other days I can just about get through the day and most days I collapse after the kids go to bed at 8pm, therefore i have no life outside the kids waking and going to sleep! So there goes any Interaction with my partner, all tv and any social life for the forceable future, 

No matter what anyone says your body NEVER gets used to the lack of sleep, you DONT learn to live with it and it DOESNT get easier!! (Sorry to be so doom and gloom, but what's the point in sugar coating this shit) 

Another hope is 2.5 years time!!!! hopefully this will be the cure to the sleeping! I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through the next 2.5 years though. That's allot of sleep to miss out on! 

I now fully understand why people have mid life crisis', age real quickly after children, drink excessively and so on......I blame the kids!!! 

Oh and before I forget, to anyone reading this who thinks, how difficult can it be, I have one child and its easy, sleeps all the time, never cries and never has tantrums .......BE CAREFUL!! Your being led into a false sense of security!! It could be you next. After my daughter I thought just that, turns out it's not as easy the second time round and not all babies are angels or the same!! 

**** Just to clarify I love my children of equal measures**** 
they test me in different ways every single day, they both bring me so much joy yet so much frustration!  

Also I'm pretty sure that when the time comes as teenagers the roles will soon reverse and I'll be writing a post about my nightmare teenage daughter and my angel mummy's boy!! 

However at this moment I just pray for sleep. That is all x

Friday, 16 January 2015

First School Trip - anxiety levels 8!

Today is going to be a very long day!

I will be spending the day a complete nervous wreck, so much so that no amount of vodka could even cure (obviously if I wasn't in work and I thought I could get away with drinking vodka at 10am)

This is due to my daughter going on her first ever school trip, 63 miles away / 1hr 28 on a bus, and all at 6 years of age! To see a pantomime of Cinderella (Is Cinderella even relevant in 2015?!)

I'm not sure who is more to blame for this happening, the person who came up with the bright idea (the school) or the person allowing, and paying for her to go (Me).

My problem with this said trip is:
1) We have numerous local theatres
2) Its January, the worst month for unpredictable weather conditions
3) I don't like buses
4) I don't like Cinderella (not actually true, but I couldn't think of 4 and 3 wasn't enough)

I prepared my daughter for all eventualities, I gave her enough food to last a week, I put my telephone number in her shoe (she had no pockets) and I ran through all the important information like where she lived, her school etc. 

I then cried. As my daughter gave me the look of someone slightly unhinged.

I consider all quite rational things to do for a mother in my position.

I hope its not like this on every school trip!!

Please do tell me this is a completely normal process to go through as a mother and I'm therefore not unhinged?! I do however need vodka.

I still have 7 hours to go.