Sunday, 31 May 2015

Monthly bucket list - May/June



Personal aim's

* To finish my new book - Jill Mansell - The one you really want - FAIL
I gave up on this book as I just couldn't get into it,
I hate doing this but sometimes needs must.

* To apply for at least 2 new job's - FAIL
I look every week at what's out there, but after finding my ideal job and then agonising over the pro's and con's -the biggest one being leaving my 1.5 yo full time, I've decided to put the job search on hold for the time being.

* Go on a night out (out-out) with friends - CHECK
I actually went on two in the same weekend, this is unheard of! Whilst it was fun it was also exhausting and took me days to get over it. I'm a home bird. Also curry and cider is so calorific, who knew ?! :( 

* A family day out - preferably to the beach (weather dependant)
now that football season is finally over (whoppie!) - CHECK
However wasn't the beach, turns out its not quite warm enough for that yet. We visited an outdoor resource centre with nature walks and a picnic, the kids loved it. 

* To begin watching the new series starting on 3rd May - The C Word with Sheridan Smith, such a talented actress! - CHECK
Turns out the said programme wasn't a series but a one off drama.
 I fortunately managed to catch it on BBC iplayer as I somehow managed to miss it (yayyy for modern technology) it was an amazingly moving programme and will probably stick with me for a good while.
I wrote a post on it here: The C word

The kids

* Listen to J. read more, not just her school books - CHECK
* Get on top of the fructose intolerance diet with Fin -  CHECK
* Organise the kids carnival costumes for next month - 1/2
I've decided what they will be but not brought/made them.

 The blog

* I need to get to grips with my Facebook page - CHECK
* To keep on top of my new schedule, I will get organised! - CHECK
* Get back to linking up with all my favourite linkys again,
now that I have Wi-Fi again - CHECK


Personal aim's

* To finish (and not give up on) The Dark Side by Gillan Flynn
* To get out running again and motivate myself to lose his stubborn stone.
* Date night with the better half, its been so long.

The kids

* Swimming date
* New clothes ready for holiday next month
* Start the milk ladder with both kids
here is my post on: Intolerances

 The blog

* Work on my tots100 score
* Vary the subjects of my posts from parenting
* Increase my like's on Facebook.

Here are my previous months posts:

Linked up with:

Dont judge.

I may seem confident and like I have too much to say, I may come across like I know where I'm going and what I'm doing. You may assume I'm judgemental and a little stuck up or hardened even.  

However the truth is, I'm sensitive and I take everything to heart (I have a heart tattoo on my wrist to symbolize this), I sometimes feel lost and out of control. I get anxious about large social environments and meeting new people. I can come across as ignorant because I'm shy and nervous as I never know what to say. I don't trust very easily and I overthink every situation.

I have been through some tough times, as has everyone but I can now say I have come out the other side as a much better person. I've over come my demons and I've learnt from my mistakes. I can finally look back on those times objectively without feeling anger.  

In my darkest days, I hated the world and was extremely angry at myself and at the situation I was in. Instead of doing something about it I got myself deeper and deeper into the rut which just made me even more angrier with the world, this turned me into a not very nice person.

For a long time I couldn't see a way out, I was suffocated and extremely lost. It was like living in a dark tunnel where you couldn't see anything outside of that tunnel and you didn't let anyone else in. I didn't care about anything or anyone and I didn't care if I came out the other side. I lost all hope and all perspective. My only objective was to get through that day. It become my normality and my own little reality. 

My nightmare continued for 8 years. 

For a long time after I was extremly bitter about the 8 years that were taken away from me but I've come to terms with the fact those 8 years I choose to waste and I can not change it. 

The smallest of things can bring it all back and trigger the fear of that tunnel. But that fear is what keeps me going in the right direction and not look back to that place. 

Thankfully I'm not that person or in that place anymore.

Linked up with:
The Little Life of Ickle Pickle

Everything Mummy

Friday, 29 May 2015

Loving the blogs

After a week of not doing a lot and being a lazy unmotivated blogger, I decided to give some appreciation to all the brilliant bloggers out there, who inspire me to be a better blogger. Whilst I'm not doing much on my blog I still continue to read and appreciate the blogs I love. 

My top blogs, that I read religiously:

Hannah Gale - because she is just fab. She blogs about all types of things which is what I like about her, she mixes it up. From fashion and beauty to life. Her writing style is very on trend and appeals to the younger women. Lots of her posts are featured in my favourites, below. Also she always comments back and replies to tweets, for a big time blogger this is unheard of, so top marks. 

Dizzy Brunette 3- This is a new one for me, Hannah Gale brought her to my attention and I've been hooked every since. I think I spent about a day reading lots of her archived posts, she is very girlie and its so easy to read. I now look forward to her next posts.

Pouting in heels - I get excited whenever I see Kate has published a post. I feel she is so relatable and her posts are always on point. She inspires me to write better and to achieve more. Her letter to women in abusive relationships (below) was extremely well written and so unbelievably true to reality, this will remain one of my fav posts of all time. 

The Un-Mumsy Mum - I couldn't write a top bloggers post and not mention my all time fav blogger. Her posts make me laugh during the bad days and picks me up when I'm feeling like a crappy mum. I love her honest and open style of writing, she doesn't ever sugar coat anything.

Hurrah for gin- Kate is all about the laughs for me. We can all be guilty of taking life far too serious sometimes, Kate reminds me that you have to laugh about it all and see the funny side of life.

Potty Mouthed Mummy - Sian's blog gives me serious blog envy. Not only is her design extremely professional looking her photos are also top quality, something I still really struggle with. I'll never be a photographer. Sian helped me out when I was first starting out as a blogger, with her brilliant newbie classes. They're very informative and easy to follow.

Potty Mouthed Mummy

We all have those posts that stick in our minds, that were so relatable and you were so grateful to have come across, these are mine, My Fav posts:

The Unmumsy mum - too honest you say

The unmumsymum - An open letter to mum with the red coat

Pouting in heels A letter to women in abusive relationships

Twinderelmo - Kate Middleton baby questions

Potty mouthed mummy - How to be a good blogger

Potty mouthed mummy - The evolution of the Disney princess

Hurrah for gin - Unfortunate signs you are getting old

Hannah gale - 17 things every girl needs to remember at all times

Hannah gale - important life lessons id wish id learnt sooner

The ugly little girl - self esteem why low confidence at school can become a lifetime of insecurities

Zeit my geist - Dont look now your family is changing

Carry on katy - why you shouldnt always read the label

Linked up to:

The Twinkle Diaries The List

Friday, 22 May 2015



Week commencing: 18th May

 This week has been relatively good. I'm feeling more like me again and enjoying life, despite the unavoidable bumps in the road.

I even treated myself a bit, nothing too luxurious,
just a trim :) but every little bit helps.


I still have so much love for this linky
it really does make you feel allot more positive about the week.
Thank you Morgana @ but why mummy why for hosting.
I cant find the words to express my thoughts on this post.
I don't feel I can even begin to give it enough credit. 
This post says everything for me, thank you truly Kate @ Pouting in heels


Benefits Britain - Channel 5
 Documentary series lifting the lid on the reality of life on benefits in Britain.
I was totally gobsmacked and disgraced by this programme, mainly by the mum of 10 who is on 20k of hand-outs a year. Who was openly drinking vodka and smoking with her children and swearing every other word. The fact she was covered in tattoo's didn't faze me at all, an I'm usually pretty un-shockable but she really was vile. An after watching her reduce her grand-daughter to tears for having ginger hair, I was left feeling so angry.
I'm not sure I can bring myself to watch it again.

Impulse - Be Surprised - Violets & Red fruits 
     This scent is heavenly, its my new spray of the summer and I will no doubt re-purchase it over and over again in the next upcoming months. Its so fresh and addictive, I cant stop spraying it.


 I've heard time and time again, that green eyed women suit orange lip colour. I recently heard this statement again, from a very well known vlogger - Zoelle
(who is a big guilty pleasure of mine over on YouTube). I'm now edging towards making a purchase, but I'm just not sure if I'm adventurous enough to do it or to pull it off. Orange is a big statement to make.
Decision's? Decision's?



  This week I've restrained myself from making anymore unnecessary purchases and I made do with what I had in my wardrobe. 
Tonight I plan to go out to the local curry house with my
friends for a 30th celebrations.
Everyone who knows me knows I love curry and this is my perfect night out.
  After lots of deliberating, I've chosen this summery number, knowing my luck it will rain just to throw a spanner in the works. Just my luck.

and lastly:

  This quote is from my post Finding that happy you again which I posted yesterday, I'm in no way an expert on happiness but I do know a thing or too about feeling blue. I think the quote is perfect :)

linked up with:

Mama and More

Thursday, 21 May 2015


An obvious one this week but my most important reason to be thankful is my babies. I probably don't say it enough or acknowledge just how proud and thankful I am, to have two beautiful, happy an healthy children in my life.

Whilst at times they can be challenging, I wouldn't change them for the world. They are my reason for waking up everyday (all be it very early) and they're by far the best thing to come out of my life.

Here is my chance to  give them the recognition they deserve.

My boy - So unbelievably loving, he can melt your heart with one sloppy kiss and a rest of his head upon your shoulder, he loves nothing more then cwtching up and playing with the tassels on your hoodie, between his tiny fingers. He is active and fearless and was capable of so much so quick! I pray for him to slow down because my baby is growing up way too fast before my eyes. He is my little devil in disguise, fooling everyone he meets with his outstanding cuteness and his bright blue eyes and blonde hair. He is my little shadow never wanting to venture far form my side.

My girl - My biggest achievement and my most adored accomplice. We share a special bond, as it was just me and her against the world for 3 joyful years. She is beautiful and extremely funny, without meaning to be. She comes out with the funniest things and her laugh is contagious. A little sensitive soul who thinks to hard and worries too much, just like me. When we are apart I feel like something is missing. There's no place I'd rather be then sharing a sofa and blanket whilst watching frozen (for the 567208480000 time) with my little mini me.

Admittedly I did weep a little, its a mothers prerogative.

 Linked up with :
Adventure of a Monkeyfooted Mummy

Binky Linky
The Twinkle Diaries

Finding that 'Happy' you again.

I often get so bogged down with sleep deprivation and tantrums that its hard to pull myself out from behind the dark cloud and feel human again. However, today I have a rare smile on my face, so I'm sharing some of the ways that have helped me to not feel so blue. I'm in no way an expert, I'm just a mum.

A trim - Last night I had an inch taken off and I literally feel like a new person, I have no idea how a simple hair cut can make such a big difference but it has, my hair feels and looks great.

A good nights sleep - Sometimes you have to just admit defeat, hold your hands up and say to the other half, I need a break and a full nights sleep before I end up in a padded cell.   

The sun - Good ole vitamin D, Today I'm writing this to bright blue skies and this defiantly helps with brightening up the mood. Unfortunately we have no control over the weather so this one is out of our control but we can live in hope the sun will come out eventually.

Drinking lots of water - Yesterday I drank over 3 litres of water, I did have to consciously remind myself to keep drinking because for me, that's quite allot to get through in one day! I've been known to drink Lucozade and red bull to get me through the hardest day, which I know isn't good long term but desperate times. The downside to this is I spent allot of time wanting the loo, who has time to pee all day long with two kids?!

Maintaining yourself - After my trim I treated myself to a luxurious bath, shaved the legs (which admittedly don't get done that regularly now), face mask and painted my nails. It did take allot of effort and is time consuming, (time I would usually choose to catch up on sleep) but I can confirm it is worth the effort I feel refreshed and regenerated today. I wish you could just bottle up this feeling for when you're feeling crappy.

Linking up with:
The List
The Little Life of Ickle Pickle

Tuesday, 19 May 2015

My reasons for blogging

About me....
My problem is I over think, I over analyse and I dwell on things far too much. These said things then play on my mind and cause me no end of grief! I find it good to get my thoughts out of my head so I can then work them out logically and effectively.

I'm very opinionated which isn't always appreciated by some. I am sensitive soul and far too honest, which makes me vulnerable at times. I am a first class worrier which often results in me not being able to see things clearly or in perspective.
The reason I blog.. 
Truthfully, I don't do it for my kids, it's not just a hobby to fill in the boredom of every day life or to earn money. 

I do it because I love to write. I have this big ambition that someday my writing will be appreciated and recognised. I would love to be proud of something I created.

My blog enables me to get all my thoughts out in one place, to have a voice and an opinion. To share my drama's, misfortunes and experiences with others. 
It's my way of taking all that crap that's bugging the hell out of me and constantly going around in my head, and sorting it out. 

In the real world I am a very private person, I hide my emotions and I'm quite closed off. For example my longest serving friend of 20 years isn't aware I take anti depressants and she probably never will. This is my decision, this isn't a reflection on her but me. I'm not ashamed of it I just choose to not talk about it or make it an issue. Because of this I can feel isolated and lonely with my thoughts. I often need a way of venting and off loading, so that's how the blog started. 

My Blog.....
I'm not a fan of people who hate on others or their blogs. I won't stand for people who put other people down or make a them feel their opinions and views aren't valued. If you don't like or agree with what someone is saying then that's fine that is your given right. we're all different but we are also all equal. 

I strongly welcome comments, discussions and opinions on my posts. I want others to express their views and give me feedback. If people disagree with me I'm more than happy for them to say so, I enjoy a good healthy debate. I'm also grateful for any constructive criticism from any readers as this is how we learn and develop. I take on board all comments and try to learn from them.

Linked up to:

Mama and MoreModern Dad Pages
Brilliant blog posts on

Sunday, 17 May 2015

I choose cautious and controlled blogging

Recently I have began to question my blog and the content I post.

I question how much right and control we have as bloggers over our content and photographs. Can I protect my children and their identities whilst still remaining an open and honest blogger?

I am extremely conscious of the fact, we as bloggers make the choice to put ourselves out there. We choose to share and reveal personal aspects of ourselves and our families, publicly on the Internet. However, does this take away our rights and our control over who can use and share our content and photographs and what it can then be used for, once it is out there on the World Wide Web. 
Whilst I love blogging and writing about my drama's, experiences and misfortunes my priority is and always will be my children. For me, the Internet is an absolute mine field and I'm fully aware that I'm only a small fish in a very big pond. There is so much I don't fully understand and I don't feel I can ever begin to understand all the laws, regulations and procedures and this worries me. I feel out of my depth and out of control. Which means I'm out of my comfort zone. 

I would like to think that the world is full of honest and genuine people, like me, with good intentions. However, sadly in reality this isn't always the case. 

I know of bloggers who have had their photos and content used without their permission and this makes me feel extremely uneasy. I fear that the children of these bloggers are being treated unfairly and their human rights are being taken away from them. Everyone has a right to their privacy and as parents we  have a responsibity to protect our children, until they are old enough to make their own informed choices, regardless of how good our intentions are or our reasons behind what we do! 

The Internet is full of uncertainty and im not willing to risk the uncertainty of my children's identity and privacy. 

I have come to the decision that in future posts I will be minimising the amount of photographs I publish and the content which identifies my children. I hope this won't take anything away from my writing or my blog. I still aspire to be an open and honest blogger however I'm choosing to keep certain accepts personal. For example photos which I will be saving for the family albums. 

Any thoughts on this controversial subject would be gratefully received below. 

Obviously these are only my views and opinions, and isn't an attempt to cast judgment on other bloggers who choose to do things differently to me. I will still continue to follow and support all the great bloggers out there regardless. The world is built up of different people, opinions and views and it's our right to have these. 

Brilliant blog posts on

Friday, 15 May 2015


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Week commencing: 11th May
This week has  flown by so quick I haven't had chance to stop and
catch my breath! Before I know it we will be in June.

I shamefully gave up on my book from last weeks #LittleLoves
'The One you really want' as I just couldn't get into it. I came across Dark Places by Gillian Flynn and being as impatient as I am, I had to start reading it immediately.  I enjoyed Gillian Flynn's Gone Girl so I was intrigued by this one. I'm three chapters in and I have to admit its a bit dark.
I was late watching this because I have the worst memory, I was eagerly awaiting it after seeing it advertised weeks beforehand but then it slipped by mind. Thank goodness for BBC iplayer!! It was extremely
well written and Sheridan Smith was amazing throughout.
I also wrote a post on it: The C Word


These bright little odd looking things are pretty fricking awesome, I brought them from Primark for £2.99 they come in a pack of 3. I hate wearing socks with trainers but cant bare to go bare footed - gross! so this is my alterative when I'm working out. they are breathable and totally hidden by your trainers!


I seen this doing the rounds on Facebook so had to take a look, especially as Ed Sheeran is involved. my first thought was, Jamie Oliver and rapping isn't a good idea, stick to your day job (also said my Professor Green in video) BUT its actually quite good and there's a few famous faces in it. after reading more about it on the website link here -  Food revolution website and petition its all for a very good cause and I'm all for more education on food in schools so I happily signed and shared.


I made memories with these two little monkeys again this week.
 I love spending time with my niece and my boy loves having his
cousin to play but they are a right handful together.
1 is trouble but 2 is chaos.
(Age 1 and 2) 
and lastly:



The weather here has been pretty crappy and well it gets you down doesn't it? and with the sleep deprivation I've felt a bit meh! So I seen this quote and its got motivated me to think about the good in everyday.
I for one dwell on the bad far to much.

Linked up to:
Twinkly Tuesday Linky

Thursday, 14 May 2015

"I had a dream......"

Ok so mine wasn't as important or as inspiring as Martin Luther-Kings, obviously! But I did have a ground breaking dream. It involved all parents being entitled to one week off once a year, a parenting-break. It was actually encouraged and not frowned upon to leave your children for one whole week, to selfishly indulge yourself and all completely guilt-free :)

Just imagine....

Now I know every parents first thought would be 'I would miss my children far to much' I'm with you, I get it, I've only left mine for 1 night, once, to go to a wedding and I missed them ridiculously. It doesn't matter how much the buggers play you up you just cant help but miss them. But what if they got to go on their own educational vacation, like summer camp and you knew they would be fine and you had no worries about the children what so ever!

Just imagine....

Next thought 'Parents cant afford luxuries like that' well what if it was all paid for by the government, a new scheme to help parents keep their sanity and commend good parenting. A chance to re-charge batteries, relax and recuperate.

So just to re-cap - One weeks all paid for, parenting break! I know unreal right?! Now this got me thinking about what I would do with my one week off? In-between missing the children terribly, obviously.

* Sun - there would have to be sun. With no need for erratic application of factor 50 on the little ones every half an hour.

* Sleep - lots of it. Undisturbed deep sleep, long naps and lie-in's.

* Cocktails - with no regards to the hangover, I can sleep it off anyway.

* Hot unrushed meals - that I wouldn't have to share or throw away because it went cold.

* Conversations with my partner about anything but the children.

* Reading - a whole book in a day, if I felt like it.

* Long indulgent showers or even go all out an have a bath! In peace.

* I would get dressed up, put a full face of make-up on, not a half arsed effort with a toddler pulling at your leg and get my hair done. For no reason at all, just because I can.

* I would be spontaneous, adventurous and crazy for one whole week, with no regard to school nights, bad behaviour or telling offs.

Just imagine....

* No Cbeebies! or frozen! or 1D!

* No nappies, no Jam disasters to clean up and no dare devil stunts to put a stop to.   

* No nagging, no asking 5-6 times to do things and no losing your temper and shouting at all, for one whole week.

But then after that one week you feel like a new person, totally refreshed and confident. You cant wait to see your babies and they cant wait to see you, everyone's a winner.

What would you do with your parenting break? Just imagine......

Linked up to:

The List
The Dad Network
The Little Life of Ickle Pickle