This is what they don't tell you....

This is what happens when one of us inconsiderate grown-ups has to go for a shower in our house, Melt down!! This is separation anxiety at it's worse!!

This is what they don't tell you before you have a baby....you'll never have a shower longer then 2 minutes again or pee in peace or anything else for that matter which doesn't involve your baby being stuck to your hip.

Mean girls & J K Rowling

I was walking home from school with my five year old daughter, in front of us was a couple of slightly older girls, not good at the guessing of age thing, but they were old enough to be walking home on their own but young enough to still be in primary school - kind of age, who were discussing a party. The first girl said to the second girl, “is Josie coming on Sunday” (name change) the first girl laughed, and quite sharply said “no, she’s fat!” the second girl nodded in agreement and the conversation carried on relating to the party. This small significant sentence hung around my head for the rest of the day. Not that it’s important but the girl they are referring to, is in no way fat by any means! That’s not my mum’s head opinion, she actually isn’t fat!!

But even if she was, it wouldn’t make me less shocked by the girls comment, it was said as if it was a perfectly normal judgment to make and as if the invitees were specifically chosen by their size, or more importantly, I’m guessing, their popularity.

My influential daughter heard every word of this and it infuriated me. I decided after allot of dwelling, to sit her down and talk about it and to explain empathy, at five years of age I can only hope that some of what I said went in and stays in.

The reason I’m telling you this, is because I then came across something significant online, totally by accident, by a very talented and respected lady, which I want to share with you, it’s brilliant and inspirational. As mothers to influential daughters, it’s our duty to be good role models…….

 
 “Fat’ is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl when she wants to hurt her.

I mean, is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me; but then, you might retort, what do I know about the pressure to be skinny? I’m not in the business of being judged on my looks, what with being a writer and earning my living by using my brain…

I went to the British Book Awards that evening. After the award ceremony I bumped into a woman I hadn’t seen for nearly three years. The first thing she said to me? ‘You’ve lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you!’

‘Well,’ I said, slightly nonplussed, ‘the last time you saw me I’d just had a baby.’

What I felt like saying was, ‘I’ve produced my third child and my sixth novel since I last saw you. Aren’t either of those things more important, more interesting, than my size?’ But no – my waist looked smaller! Forget the kid and the book: finally, something to celebrate!

I’ve got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don’t want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before ‘thin’. And frankly, I’d rather they didn’t give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons.”

― J.K. Rowling
  

School discos 2015 style.

One and a half hours seemed like 4 long agonising hours but the fact I was actually out of the house and in a public place, with other equally unhappy adults was a bonus!

This is what parenting is all about, being squashed on a school bench at the back of a hot, dark and very loud school hall, surrounded by hyperactive small people and listening to cheesy pop music.

This is my new ‘social life’ and I have to come to terms with the loss of my old one and…‘Let it go’

** Checklist for any school discos **

A Crazy DJ– CHECK

Who not only plays music but interacts with the children too, so a DJ/Kids entertainer. He is responsible for controlling all the children, whilst being able to dance and sing along to all the songs! He must be on big bucks to do that job!

Girl’s on one half of the room and boys the other– CHECK

In a dance / sing along type battle.  Girl’s v Boys battles never end well, in my experience!

Frozen craziness – CHECK

The world has gone Frozen crazy, and so has the school disco’s!
My daughter is no exception she went in the Elsa dress, the hair in a side plait, the jewellery and of course the glittering eyes! Identical to all the other girls in the school. Followed by all the Frozen songs, sung word for word by all the children whilst doing the big dramatic arm movements……Oh dearie me!

Smoothies - CHECK

Cartons of juice have been replaced with healthy alternatives, obviously at twice the price! No sugar and no fun, not at all party like.

Tears – CHECK

There is always tears, this can range from anything small, like not liking the song to a major incident like being too hot (perhaps as a result of the smoothies not hydrating them enough).  

Boys sliding across the school hall – CHECK

I can’t figure out why they do this, but I think perhaps it’s a male ego thing and an alternative to dancing.  

Miserable teachers – CHECK

Who are as equally unhappier about having to be there as us parents, but have to at least pretend to be enjoying it. They have to be on constant alert to stop any boys sliding and prevent all possible injuries from occurring due to the strict health and safety legislations. I do feel for the teachers who have spent a whole 10 hours with the children, they must too need the sugar too that has now been replaced by the healthy smoothies!! However, I think I would need vodka, not sugar to do their job.

Tired and irritable children - CHECK

It’s late and after all the antics it’s now time to take you’re over excited, sweaty and worn out child home and in return they will give you major tantrums before bed….Oh the joys!!

I can’t control my excitement for the next school disco…….!!

linked up to:
 

Why the 6 nation’s rugby isn’t one of my priorities....

Its the big day, The start of the almighty 6 nations.
Its all kicking off tonight with the big match, when the English go head to head against the Welsh!

Ok.....
My first confession, I've never been a huge rugby fan (unlike some of my Facebook followers, who have been counting down the sleeps). However, I've always kind of looked forward to the start of the 6 nations, mainly because I live in Wales, and the Welsh don't do anything by halves! Its a big occasion in the Welsh calendar and the excitement is contagious. The pubs are a live during the 6 nations with very excited and loud (and usually larger holding) Welsh people (and some who aren't actually Welsh but keep quite, well unless the English win of course)

Second confession, I'm not actually Welsh. I was moved here by my very English parents when I was 3. So I wasn't born in Wales and my parents aren't Welsh either. (I'm just clarifying this point for argument sake as some people claim to be Welsh in any small significant way they can) I am not, and this doesn't make any difference to me.

Third confession, I don't actually care who wins, it makes absolutely no difference to my life either way! It doesn't make me less English or less happy to live in Wales, I don't celebrate harder if 'my team' wins or drink more or shout louder at the television if 'my team' loses (I don't have a 'team'!) I tend to just enjoy all the hype and the atmosphere of the game. 

Fourth confession, now I have two children and less then 5 hours sleep a night (on a good night), I have no aspirations to go anywhere near a pub or to drink pints or to listen to the whaling of the national anthem (sang badly and out of tune). This isn't a good night out for me anymore, just the thought of a hangover makes me want to shudder and is enough to put me off drinking for the time being as my 1 year old would be less then sympathetic.  

So......
Tonight I'll be at home, in my onezie with a glass of wine, not cheering anyone and not really understanding the rules or what's going on (probably fast asleep by half time).

I hope both teams do well and I hope everyone enjoys the big hype of the match and of course the blinding hangovers tomorrow.....!!