However the truth is, I'm sensitive and I take everything to heart (I have a heart tattoo on my wrist to symbolize this), I sometimes feel lost and out of control. I get anxious about large social environments and meeting new people. I can come across as ignorant because I'm shy and nervous as I never know what to say. I don't trust very easily and I overthink every situation.
I have been through some tough times, as has everyone but I can now say I have come out the other side as a much better person. I've over come my demons and I've learnt from my mistakes. I can finally look back on those times objectively without feeling anger.
In my darkest days, I hated the world and was extremely angry at myself and at the situation I was in. Instead of doing something about it I got myself deeper and deeper into the rut which just made me even more angrier with the world, this turned me into a not very nice person.
For a long time I couldn't see a way out, I was suffocated and extremely lost. It was like living in a dark tunnel where you couldn't see anything outside of that tunnel and you didn't let anyone else in. I didn't care about anything or anyone and I didn't care if I came out the other side. I lost all hope and all perspective. My only objective was to get through that day. It become my normality and my own little reality.
My nightmare continued for 8 years.
For a long time after I was extremly bitter about the 8 years that were taken away from me but I've come to terms with the fact those 8 years I choose to waste and I can not change it.
The smallest of things can bring it all back and trigger the fear of that tunnel. But that fear is what keeps me going in the right direction and not look back to that place.
Thankfully I'm not that person or in that place anymore.
Linked up with: